Wednesday, May 8, 2013

I Am Sorry Officer But I Just Can't Do That or Oh Lucy IV


My husband and I shared our truck until his parents gifted us with their old car.  The only problem was I didn’t know how to drive a stick shift.  I was so anxious to learn that I insisted on having my first lesson the night it arrived.  It was dark and snowy so we drove around the parking lot of a local shopping center to play it safe.

 We only lived a few blocks from the school so I thought it would be good practice to pick up the kids the next day.  Everything was fine until I came to a stop sign on top of a small hill.  School had just let out and there was a line of traffic behind me.  There were no hills in the parking lot the night before and when I tried to release the clutch to move forward, the car rolled backwards.  I took a deep breath and tried a second time but it rolled back again to within a few inches of the car behind me. That driver decided the solution to my problem was to lay on her horn.  Horrified I turned on the flashers, opened my window and waved the cars around me.

Suddenly a squad car pulled up behind us with its lights on.  The officer walked over to my window and asked if the car had broken down.  I had no idea what to say so I answered rather shortly that it had not.  He said that I would have to move along then because I was holding up traffic.  Choking back tears I told him that I just could not do that.  He seemed shocked as I just sat there clutching the wheel. The kids had all but melted under the back seat in humiliation and didn’t say a word. He asked why I couldn’t move and I was forced to tell him the embarrassing truth, bracing myself for whatever penalty I would receive for refusing his order.  Trying not to laugh he kindly told me how to use the emergency break to keep from sliding backwards.  He waited while I tried it and even blocked anyone else from going around me until I was safely underway. I never had the chance to thank him because I had no intention of stopping again until I reached home, but I will never forget him.

Wednesday, May 1, 2013

To Tell the Truth

The moments I lived for
When my hope was renewed
Were the moments of clarity
When reality met truth

Beyond the confusion
Past the noise in my mind
To a place that was peaceful
Where freedom was mine

I could see with my heart
Others struggle for peace
From that vantage point
I knew just what they'd need

I'd start to invite them
To join me and then
Fears of rejection
Began to seep in

Not wanting the world
To steal my peace
I held out my heart
But just beyond reach

As the guilt and the shame
Grew larger than truth
The clarity dissolved
My confusion renewed

From my sinful place
I can't see past my own
Disappointments and sorrows
Until He calls me home

He shows me the way
Through Forgiveness and Grace
Freely given in Love
Gently growing my faith

Learning to trust
That He'll love me through all
The times that I doubt
And run from His call

Slowly I'm learning
That when He is near
From that place of peace
I have nothing to fear

I can see through His eyes
And reach with His hands
With His words that I share
He will gather His lambs

The moments I live for
Have now become
The moments I’m telling
The world of His Son

Saturday, April 27, 2013

A Right Of Passage or That Kid's Got An Arm

                Third in a line of girls, I was forced to give up my position as the baby of the family when my brother was born.  You could tell my Dad was anxiously waiting to teach him about all things male, but growing up with three older sisters wasn’t setting the stage for his rough and tumble future. We all loved holding him and feeding him and he made a great addition to our pretend families when we played house.
 I think all that nurturing was beginning to worry Dad because one day he announced that it was about time for him to be completely done with bottle feeding.  He was a toddler by that time and was only getting an occasional bottle but as a milestone it suddenly became very important.  My brother did not take to the idea and what could have been a war of wills was turned into a unique Right of passage designed by my Dad.  We lived on the banks of the Fox River and we were all called to assemble down by the water’s edge one Sunday afternoon.  My brother came, bottle in hand with my mom and dad.  Dad announced that my brother was now a big boy and big boys did not drink from bottles so he was going to throw his last bottle into the river.  My Dad held his hand to steady him and after a little encouragement my brother threw the bottle into the water.  Cheers all around and that was that as we all marched back up the bank to Sunday dinner.
When I think about all the times in my life that I had to let go of the past before I could take the next step toward a new beginning I picture my Dad steadying my brother and making him feel strong and capable.  I know my Heavenly Father is always there for me, steadying me and loving me through the letting go if I walk hand in hand with Him.