Showing posts with label Humor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Humor. Show all posts

Thursday, July 28, 2016

Stick to It or You Can Run But You Can't Hide


Not gonna do it
Not gonna play
I’ve had enough of these little games

I’m tired of going
I just need to rest
Since when is fun an endurance test

I should never have started
To chase a mistake
I should just give up but my pride is at stake

To learn something new
Is not much to ask
I thought it was fun now the whole day has passed

Tripping and falling
You don’t care how I sweat
You don’t know who your messing with I’ll get you yet

What am I saying
This has to stop
Why must you go can’t you just let it drop

You’re cute and you’re funny
And you don’t mean to stress
I just don’t understand dog why you can’t learn to fetch

Thursday, November 1, 2012

Not Again

I won’t do it
You can’t make me
Time won’t tell
And I will not see

I’m just fine thanks
Please don’t worry
Haste makes waste
So I don’t hurry

I won’t stop you
Do as you please
There’s no chance
You can’t convince me

Save your breath
It’s not a bad thing
I’ll hold the fort
Keep fires burning

It’s not for me
And never has been
Sneaks up behind
My plans just can’t win

The end result
Life rearranged
Can’t believe I ever longed
For fickle winds of
Change

Monday, October 15, 2012

How Do You Steer This Thing


                The first time I was allowed to visit a friend’s farm my Dad made it clear that I was not to ride or even go near the horses without an adult present.
               The minute I got there we headed toward the barn as though we were on a mission. My friend told me her parents were busy so I had to tell her about my Dad's warning. After a brief discussion we found just enough justification to keep going.  She set a wooden crate down next to a large white horse and told me to get on.  She was up on the other horse within seconds telling me not to worry because my horse would follow hers and we would just walk. Did I mention we were riding bare back? It sounded like a good idea at the time but it was uncomfortable and I was unable to straddle the wide animal enough to stay centered.  We had to go around an old wagon that had grass on one side and a large mud puddle on the other.  My friend walked her horse right through the mud.  I don’t know if it was because my horse was white or if I was afraid it would get stuck like an old sedan but I just couldn’t bring myself to do it. It wasn’t much of an argument because as hard as I tugged, begged and leaned my horse just kept on following hers but, unfortunately, I didn’t. 
It was more of a slide than a fall and nothing was broken but I had done enough damage to warrant a trip to the doctor.  There was no contest between the pain in my shoulder and the pain of having to call my dad to pick me up.  They say mothers are psychic.  He never even asked what happened he knew the minute I called.  The obvious physical pain I was in did manage to soften his anger, but I could tell the sympathy ended way before the disappointment.   My friend moved away about a year later and in all that time I never had the nerve to ask my dad to let me visit the farm again.  Some dreams are best left to the imagination at least for the time being.
               

Friday, October 12, 2012

Up Close and Personal


    Have you ever smacked into a wall
    And been embarrassed and appalled
    Dividing your space into spaces
    It was there all along after all

                Offering passage through doorways
                Protecting from heat and from cold
                Holding up pictures and bookshelves
                Framing windows with views to behold

                Day after day we go past them
                Without giving them much of a thought
                Until we don’t watch where we're going
                then with a sharp pain we are taught

                The least we can do is avoid them
                Remembering their place in our lives
                Stay within hallways between them
                And after dark turn on a light

                They’re there for some very good reasons
                They’re not moving anytime soon
                We should keep our eyes open and heads up
                When we enter or leave any room

                If that seems quite silly and obvious
                Forget that I said anything
                Until the next time you misjudge one
                Then let me know what you think

Tuesday, October 9, 2012

Cats In A Box or Please Don't Try This At Home

Some dear friends asked me to house and pet sit while they were on vacation.  They had three beautiful cats with wonderful personalities and I wanted to photograph them as a Christmas gift.  The cats didn’t seem to mind my trying to arrange them in a group over and over again.  They just didn’t seem to understand the purpose and disassembled themselves after two or three seconds before I could frame a good shot.   The few times they stayed together they refused to look directly at the camera, at least all at the same time.  I knew if I wanted a picture developed and framed before my friends returned that I would have to come up with something fast.
There was a tall, narrow box waiting to go out with the trash and the thought struck me that it was just big enough for 3 cats to sit in comfortably.  If all went well, I would be able to get a good shot looking down into the box from above.  I carefully placed each cat inside then climbed on a chair next to it so it would look as though I was facing them at a normal angle.  Everything was working perfectly.  The cats were all staring up at the opening at the top with wide eyed wonder.
I am not sure what happened next.  All I know is someone hissed and the three beautiful faces in the bottom of the box became a writhing, hissing, screaming ball of fur.  I screamed too as I imagined my friend’s faces when they came home to 3 bloodied cats.  I knocked the box over hoping they would sort themselves out but that only confused them more.  I finally had to pick the box up and pour them out onto the floor still a tangled mess of heads, paws and tails.  Thankfully they scattered in different directions.  There were no injuries and I did get a good shot but take it from me, don’t try this at home.