Room at the Table

Divorced was not something that I had ever imagined being and the aftermath not something I would ever have expected.  The pain of rejection, failure and guilt mixed with the feeling of somehow being out of place and time, took my breath away.

 I had a good friend that I could cry to but who never let me give up. She kept reminding me that God would always be there for me.  I knew it was true but it just didn’t seem as real as the pain.  One day I was suddenly overwhelmed by the smallest thing.  I wanted my children to come to dinner at my new apartment but I didn’t have enough plates.  It touched off a flood of emotions and I found myself at my friend’s kitchen table sobbing once again.  I couldn’t even explain why. 

 After I pulled myself together we took a walk and stopped at a garage sale.  I only had $2.00 in cash on me so I wasn’t really expecting to buy anything.  I noticed a cardboard box under a table that was marked “$1.50 for all”.  I pulled it out and opened it.  My friend thought there was a spider in it because I let out a little yelp.  It was a box of dishes but not just any dishes.  They were exactly like mine.  If I had won the lottery that day it would not have meant as much to me as that box of dishes.  The pain wasn’t about needing the dishes but about needing to know that I was loved and not alone and someone understood my deepest fears and emotions.  He really was and would always be there for me.

 Whenever I use those dishes I think about the comforting words of the 23^rd Psalm and the verses that say that “He prepares a table before me…..  He is a loving God that longs to comfort and provide for us in the midst of our deepest sorrows.  We have a standing invitation and there’s always room at the table.